whenever im upset.
it helps me,
imagining them as things
acting on their natural instincts
and ignoring the complexities
and idiosyncrasies that differentiate
each of them.
its more soothing than
facing up to the reality
that they are thinking, judgemental
individuals all in their own right.
it does it for me:
it puts me in audience-mode,
a position i am happy, and familiar,
in (im a tv/film-junkie).
it detaches me from the picture.
most importantly,
puts me in a perspective where
i could, perhaps, be objective,
amidst the flurry of emotions.
sometimes as much as i try
not to be,
i really am just as human as them.
it crazes me trying to fathom
someone's thoughts,
trying to have some virtual control
over how people view me,
trying in vain to be unruffled by
the negatives lingering...
i get tired,sometimes,
being human and feeling human.
which is why some of us
choose to devote a larger part of
our life on a craft,
a canine friend, or on the
material things...
at the very least,
they can be held on to,
they don't usually alter their positions
without warning,
and they are easy to understand.
we tire one another out,
more than we know.
i know i do.
i know i am a source of irritation
or hurt to even the
people dearest to me,
simply because i am not them-
and empathy can only do so much.
but its a hard balance to keep,
since no one can really claim
to not need people.
i have no qualms admitting that
i feel lonely, even needy,
some days,
but these feelings are really
not often.
for one,
i know the tradeoffs.
i need my freedom and space so much
that it becomes easy to combat
loneliness.
after all,
i always found being alone
and being lonely to be mutually
exclusive.
i have the rowdiest times
with friends, really.
i talk loudly, laugh uninhibitedly
and go absolutely insane.
most times,
i would be having great fun.
fun don't always equate to
happiness, or removes loneliness.
without the need for the
supreme effort put into socialising,
solitude comforts, heals
and builds up sense of self.
we need our social and
emotional supports,
but we should not depend excessively
on them.
because, like ourselves,
they falter too.
we should always preempt this crumble
and be prepared to fall back
on ourselves.
alternatively,
be religious.
i do have
a funny love for melancholy.
sometimes moping over nothing
particularly mope-worthy
brings an odd sense of satisfaction.
7:24 PM